It’s mad out there !


It’s mad out there. I’m losing track of time. I’m working a lot at the moment. Some days I’m dressed as a kind of quasi weasel, some days I’m dressed in a kind of green footman’s livery and some days  I’m dressed as a badger. It’s all good fun. The badger attire is the most authentic and as part of this I’m in a position to engage and entertain the public. That is, in a sense what they’ve paid for, and he who pays the piper calls the tune. I must have had my photo taken at least a thousand times in my badger suit. Most people ask badger for permission but some don’t. Personally I don’t give a shit whether they do or not but it’s a bit disconcerting when they stand in a semi circle,  my head down not showing my face so as not to spoil the illusion of it not being a full human with a badger hat and all I can hear is the fizz and click of mobile phones and sundry other cameras.


Is it this week that Major Tim Peake became the first British bloke in space? I wondered how many resisted the urge to ” Ground Control to Major Tim” ? but then a friend reminded me that the song  ( David Bowie – Space Oddity )  ends badly for Major Tom. Not even the crass insensitive Sun Newspaper would dare risk that one on Major Tim sitting in his tin can.
It took him about a day to get to the space-station. It’s taken me longer to get to London by Train !
I learned as part of the coverage there’s over half a million items of rubbish orbiting the earth at something like 17,500 miles per hour. Ranging from tiny ball bearings,a glove to old bits of space station. I seem to remember there’s a Hasselblad camera floating out there as well, accidentally dropped by some photographer spaceman.  You see we can’t even go out into space without leaving a bloody mess behind.