So you want to be a photographer ?

So you want to be a photographer?

So you want to be a photographer? Let’s be clear! that’s someone who takes pictures or as they say in intellectual circles “images”. Usually with a camera which essentially in its simplest form is a light sealed box with a hole somewhere about it to let light in. You do sometimes get people who take pictures with biscuit tins, old washing machines or old caravans etc  but they’re oddballs and freaks. You don’t want to mess with them, they’re not the kind of people you want to enjoy a drink with. They’ll bore the pants from you, explaining all that light bending physics, alchemy and jiggery pokery stuff. They probably don’t go out much either or have spouses, partners, dogs, cats etc or any other type of meaningful relationships. In fact it wouldn’t surprise me if they were serial killers !


First you must ask yourself why you want to be a photographer. If the answer is because you want to take pictures or as the intelligentsia term it “images”  then that’s as good an answer as any but don’t admit this  to anyone else or they’ll think you’re a proper twat! If it’s because you see it as a career opportunity in which you’ll make mountain loads of cash and sleep with very famous people, forget it! Take up singing instead.  You’ve more chance of becoming the next Pope, that is unless you’re already a Cardinal thinking of taking up photography in which case, hello your Eminence!    So, beware, you might have difficulty explaining your desire and the potential capital outlay to your family (or whatever you call them) friends, wife, spouse, partner, dog etc because photographers are just above terrorists, paedophiles and bankers in Society’s list of social outcasts.   Don’t try and explain anything existential, it’ll make you look a proper twat.  You could try telling them  it’s a calling from God, Allah, Buddha or whatever you worship and at least they’ll think you’ve gone mad and leave you alone. That is unless you really have had a calling from God, Allah, Buddha or whatever you worship, a vision or something equally bizarre, in which case well done although you might be happier building a shrine to your vision and charging gullible people lots of cash to visit said shrine. Actually the more I think about it, buy a camera and take their photos while visiting said shrine and kill two birds with one stone.

Next week all you need to know about buying a camera and spending lots of money.



One thought on “So you want to be a photographer ?

  1. I think you should also include – ” I want to join the tribe known as ‘photographers’ – it’s primary characteristic is the number of echelons – and of course the differing rules that apply to each ‘demarcation’ – what more could a lonely non-photographer need to become part of something – how great to be able to say “I am a photographer!” 😉


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