I’ve fallen in love with my wife.


My email account on my Windows Phone started working again after about a week. I’ve no idea why it started working again any more than I know why it stopped working in the first place. I deleted the account in Settings several times and double checked the what do you call its more than once. It occurred to me that the  Chinese blackmail man might have got into it and buggered about with it but that seemed a bit far fetched. Numerous searches on the Internet  of Windows Mobile phone forums failed to find a solution either. I find those things as much use as chocolate teapots. A radical and drastic  resolution was to factory reset the phone so I prepared of that eventuality by manually writing down all the phone numbers I would certainly lose. I also spent some considerable time deleting archive crap from my email account on my laptop. I’d like to think it was these two actions that brought about it’s rise phoenix like from the ashes. I like my Windows phone, my Lumia 535 but I’m not convinced Microsoft devote as mush time to them these days as they should.  Just because they’ve lost the competition to Android phones, Samsung etc doesn’t mean they’ve got to give up the ghost on the rest of us who don’t want to shell out thousands of pounds for a new phone every ten minutes.


British photographer Paul Reas has just published a 30 year retrospective of his work which you can read about here Fables of Faubus 

Here’s a classic image by Tony Ray-Jones: Brighton Beach 1966


The Luckiest Guy Alive John Cooper-Clarke’s second book of Poetry arrived today and it’s already a classic. JCC is now sufficiently well known for him to be applauded by pop Artist Peter Blake to have designed the cover and very nice it is too. There’s some crackin poems in there, some I’ve heard and some I haven’t. I’m gonna try and memorize the brilliant ‘I’ve Fallen in Love with my Wife’ in time for Valentine’s Day next February.


Prison Blues


My brother likes his Prison Blues sweatshirt. I think he got it from a trendy clothes shop in Brighton. Clothing made by prisoners in the USA, ‘ Denim Work Apparel Made on the Inside to be worn on the Outside’ apparently. He doesn’t mind having his picture taken by me. I think he quite enjoys it. How do I capture the person who probably knows me better than anyone and vice versa ? He’s three years older than me so he’s known me since I was a baby. We’ve not always got on together but he’s always been loyal and caring and kind. We obviously have a shared history, we’re cut from the same cloth as they say around these parts. Recently we went out for a walk around some nearby place, followed by a beer in a micro pub. We sat upstairs out of the way and I got the camera out.

I’m always sceptical of this idea that you can capture a person’s personality in one single photograph. This idea surrounding portrait photography or painting or sculpture. I think people are far too complex to be able to do that. Maybe you can capture a facet of a person’s personality but that’s about it.

Later I thought it was about time we had our image taken together.







You can walk past something a hundred or so times and never notice it. Then one day the light’s just catching it right and there it is and you think ‘why have I never noticed that?’. I’m from the ‘what you point your camera at says something about your inner self’  school of photography, hence the image below.

I’m trying to give my feet a rest but the wife and dog need walking otherwise they get cranky. I’ve got what’s commonly known as Plantar Fasciitis, heel pain to you and me. Fortunately it’s only the right one but it’s quite painful and a little bit debilitating. Street Photographers need a good pair of shoes.

Blog Writing 

My blog ‘The Secret Diary  of Vince Fish’ on BlogSpot is about to get deleted. There’s plenty of advice out there on Blog writing and a number of people have done very nicely out of their blogs. Unfortunately I’m  not one of them. I find starting a Blog quite easy. It’s sustaining one that’s the problem. Continuing to write about the same thing differently, saying something that hasn’t been said before is the problem. Even my passion for photography I find it considerably difficult to maintain.

I’ve thought about writing a Blog about How to be a Man. Ya know I could dispense advice and wisdom on the things I’ve learnt about being a man or rather trying to be;  how to conduct yourself, how to behave, what to wear, health and fitness, being in control etc etc. I mean at my age you’d think I’d pretty much got it cracked by now wouldn’t ya ? Not a bit of it !

Blackmail Emails 

I’ve had another one of those emails. This time from some arse in China which I’ve copied below for your entertainment. I’ve replied to him and basically told him to fuck off ! I’ve also informed him I’ve forwarded his email to my friend in Data Security Intelligence in Beijing. I’ve got friends all over the place. This is about the third one of these I’ve had and none of them have actually sent me the film clip as proof they’ve actually done it. I mean if you’re going to successfully blackmail anyone at least show them the goods first. Not only that I know I’ve never cranked one out in front of my laptop. I didn’t know there was a word ‘deleterious’ ? Besides it’s perfectly normal for man or woman to bash one out from time to time and nothing to be ashamed of. I don’t care what the Priest says.

Do nоt mind оn my illitеrасy, I am frоm China.

This is your last chance to save your life.

I uрlоaded thе mаliciоus рrоgrаm on yоur systеm.
Sinсе thаt mоmеnt I рilfеrеd аll рrivy baсkgrоund frоm yоur system. Аdditiоnally I have somе mоrе соmрrоmising evidеnсе. Thе mоst intеrеsting evidenсе thаt I stоlе- its а videоtаpe with yоur masturbаtiоn. I аdjustеd virus оn a pоrn wеb sitе аnd аftеr yоu loadеd it. Whеn yоu dесidеd with thе videо аnd taрpеd on a plаy buttоn, my dеlеtеrious sоft аt оnсе sеt up on your systеm. Аftеr adjusting, yоur саmеra shооt the vidеоtаpе with you self-abusing, in аddition it sаved рrесisеly thе рorn vidеo you mаsturbаtеd оn. In nеxt fеw dаys my mаlwаre collеctеd аll yоur soсial and wоrk соntасts.

If yоu wаnt to dеlete the recоrds- рay mе 333 еuro in BTС(cryрtoсurrenсy).
I рrovide yоu my Btc number – 127p9oBnrBTkVi8hkTEKh2yehV6P4qtptz
You have 24 hоurs aftеr rеading. Whеn I get transfer I will destrоy thе vidеotаpе еvеrmоre.
If you need 48 hours just Open the calculator on your desktop and press +++

Other way I will send thе tаpе to all yоur cоlleaguеs and friends.

Here’s a nice photo of my dog flopping it out !


Boots Made for Walking


Boots – At £204 quid Red Wings Heritage Moc Toe Boot In Brown is an extravagance I’ll have to wait for and at this rate that I’m earning, quite a long time. Should my boat come in though I’ll be off to the gloriously named Clobber Calm in Sheffield to try some on. I like a nice pair of boots for winter street photography. The best pair of boots I’ve ever had were Timberland which I bought on Fifth Avenue, New York. That was when they were made in the States and the quality was exceptional. I thought £204 quid was massively expensive for a pair of boots until I opened last weekends Observer magazine on the Style Section Men’s boots page. Eight Hundred and Seventy Five Quid would get me a pair of Flash Trek Gucci boots or Six Hundred quid Beetle boots from marni.com. I don’t think so ! These days I’d be struggling to afford Padded boots from Marks and Spencer at £49.50. One thing my future boot purchase won’t be is black ! That’s for people in the Army or the Paramilitaries and I don’t want no bother.

Jeans – The last two pairs of jeans I purchased were from charity shops, a pair of Jasper Conran jeans and a pair of brand new still with the labels on Ted Baker. Both wonderfully thick quality denim and well made. A man’s jeans should be well cut like all his trousers, simple and unfussy. I can’t be doing with fussy details, superfluous zips, buttons and pockets. Neither can I cope with jeans which hang half way down the arse. I’ve never been in prison and have no intention of doing,  so it’s a robust leather belt at the top of them. Best and sadly missed pairs  of jeans have to have been my Paul Smith with the gingham blue chequered internal pockets and a beautifully soft pair of Levi. Unfortunately the Jasper Conran’s are developing a crawling on the floor playing with the dog holy knee problem and despite some hasty needle and thread repair jobs it’s time to source some more.

Books / Poetry 

It’s been a long time coming but I’m looking forward to getting my mitts on his new book of poetry John Cooper-Clarke’s  The Luckiest Guy Alive. I’ve been a huge fan of his since I first heard the album Snap Crackle and Bop on my mate Exford’s cheap record player back in the early 1980’s. His first and last anthology book of poems Ten Years in an Open Necked Shirt is proudly in my bookcase and I panic If I can’t find it anytime.


Fashion Designer Katherine Hamnett said recently “You should never meet your acting heroes. They have these incredible scripts but it’s never them. Michael Caine was a disappointment. You expect him to be like Charlie from The Italian Job, a dazzling creature. In fact, he’s narrow minded – there’s very little wit or conversation”.

Katherine Hamnett meeting Margaret Thatcher


No Such Thing as Society

When I was a kid growing up in the Seventies my home town of Chesterfield had industry and jobs. There’s job now but they’re not the same. Chesterfield is on the edge of the North East Derbyshire coalfield so there were jobs in the pits. There were heavy engineering jobs; Tube Investments, Bryan Donkin, and Markham Works which made the borers for the Channel Tunnel. There was Trebor the sweet factory and Robinsons a packaging company. There was the Post Office Finance Dept ( known as the AGD ) where I started my working life. There were people who worked on the factory lines some of  whom through no fault of their own were semi literate, illiterate and could just manage a mundane repetitive job on a production line. There were men in the pits who could just about manage a shovel. For those that struggled further and had mental and physical difficulties there was Remploy. Nevertheless these people had jobs and as such a wage that they could call their own and a sense of purpose in working for it. A place to go and a reason for getting out of bed in a morning. Just as important than that, they had friends around them and work colleagues. Everybody would look out for everyone else. There was a sense of community. There was a Society ! Where do those kinds of people go now ? What is there for them ? What do they do all day ? A few months ago I was talking to a bloke on the park who was walking his dog. We got onto the subject of work, “there’s plenty of jobs about mate if you’re prepared to wipe somebody’s arse all day !”


Unseemly fawning

I’ve never really understood this fawning over the Royal Family here in jolly old eccentric England. The Europeans and other sensible people of the World  must think us the English are fuckin crackers ? I don’t see the difference between what happens over here and over there in North Korea with that Kim Jong Ding a Ling bloke. My observation is that it’s the middle aged old ladies who are the worst. Standing for hours in the pouring rain on the Mall waiting for a glimpse of Her Royal Highness Majesty the Queen of England just so they can wave a little plastic Union Jack at her like demented idiots. I’ve got nothing against them personally your Honour. I mean I wouldn’t have their heads lopped off like the French did or have them shot in a cold cellar like the Russians. It’s just that I don’t understand all this bowing and scraping malarkey. I reckon it’s that hangers on and bum lickers that make it worse as well and I’ve kinda seen it first hand but let’s not get into that particular pile of mess.